Jealous. I have to admit I am. I miss my mom and dad. I would like to have Chris' parents closer. I would like this for me, but also for Lorelei, as she grows and changes each day. I must admit the real reason: I am jealous of the support some people have with a little one in their life. I am jealous of people being able to spend some time with their spouse without having to pay a babysitter. I am not just cheap but Chris and I both feel so guilty when we leave her. Not just guilty for leaving her but because she is sometimes hard to deal with. J Lorelei is intense. Lorelei is strong willed. Lorelei is a joy and we don't want to miss a minute.
Chris and I went to go see a movie in July when Miki was staying with us and offered to watch her…this was monumental as Lorelei was still in the no bottle stage as we hadn't yet discovered the Barbie bottle and its two ounces of freedom. In September Mom and Dad paid for a babysitter from afar so we could take Grandma out for her 60th wedding anniversary. That is the extent of our outings out sans child.
Now, I must be honest that it is also a schedule issue. Chris works third shift and I work first so we only get to spend Wednesday and Thursday evenings together. And we do desire to not be running around on our two nights we get to spend together but to snuggle in at home and talk and watch movies and just get caught up on life and each other.
I just had to say that sometimes…not all the time… but sometimes when I hear people saying that their mom came over to watch their baby and they got to go to a movie or lunch with their hubby I sometimes feel the momentary jealousy. Sometimes, on the other hand, I am overwhelmed with pride of my husband and how he is such a good Daddy and how we have done this all by ourselves. And I know that we are where we are supposed to be. I know that we are supporting my parents in their occupation overseas by being where we are. And I have peace. Thank you Heavenly Father for always being here and there.