It happened again. I woke up in the middle of the night and this time even Boaz was asleep. Fear gripped my heart. If I were to articulate it this fear would say, "Everything in your life is going well. You are starting to figure out how to be a stay at home wife and mother of two. The house is not falling down around you. Your dissertation is almost done. Your children are healthy. Something bad is going to happen." I almost let it get me. My breathing started getting shallow I could hear my heart beating. I knew I was on the edge.
And then I called out. Silently, I did NOT want to wake the boy! I called it what it was. The Holy Spirit brought to my heart the verse, "For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power, and love and a sound mind." II Timothy 1:7 KJV I also know that "The thief comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I came that they may have life, and have it abundantly." John 10:10
And then, "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O Lord, make me dwell in safety." Psalm 4:8
I am so thankful for Scripture and Truth. That the Holy Spirit is there in my dark moments when I wake up and feel on the edge.
4 comments:
I think this is something all women do right? I know I do.
I don't know. I'm not a fan! Thanks for making me feel not alone!
oh Boaz, why do you have to be so cute!!!!
Girl, I do it too. The other day when stuff started happening in the ME, my mind went bananas... Both of us are married to men who make the fear factor a very hard thing to handle some days.... but it makes me so much more aware that I physically can not do a thing! God is so good and will continue to be good. That is HIS nature. I'm so glad he doesn't give us what we deserve.
Praying for you!
Annie, you can totally figure out how old Boaz was by his hair. This was in his pre-mohawk days. :) Thank you for your prayers, sweet sister!
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